Monday, March 29, 2010

Pixel MILF?

Shock After The Party

On The Doorstep

I finally stumbled home from a party at the Burning Life Spring Fling during the wee hours of Sunday morning, glowing wings and all.  Needless to say, I was in no condition to deal with what I found on the doorstep once it came into focus.  Someone left a baby on the SHAG doorstep right underneath my lucky charms!  I stared on, in shock and horror, at the little bundle for a good half hour before deciding that the mushrooms from that party were playing a very evil trick on my mind.  I chalked it up to being “just in my head” and finally passed out on the doorstep staring at what I was sure was a very vivid hallucination.

I woke a few hours later with a headache and cough that suggested I should promptly figure out what the holy hell happened last night.  I felt my face against the cool, wood floor in the store and silently promised God that I would never misbehave again, go to church and confession every week, and chant the Hail Mary 75 times if everything was actually okay.  I slowly opened my eyes, wondering when the pounding in my head would stop, and the silhouette of of a small basinet came into view.  Images from the night before began flashing through my head at break-neck speed when the crystal, clear memory of finding a baby on the doorstep cut right through the hangover haze and physically jolted me upright.  In a state of utter panic I sat there in the doorway desperately trying to get my bearings, using my tactile sense to gauge the normality of the situation like a demented Helen Keller while I waited for my vision to catch up.  I was starting to think that the situation couldn’t be that bad since I was still clothed, had all of my hair and both of my shoes on when the empty basinet came into focus.  OH MY GOD … it had escaped!  I clawed my way up the side of the doorway until I was standing as firmly as one can stand after a night of debauchery and immediately scanned the store.

Baby In Trouble at SHAG 01 Baby In Trouble at SHAG 02

I saw it over by the tequila and began making my way there through the Sunday lag and last night’s hangover.  By the time I chased it down through a wake of broken home decor and fallen lamps, the little bugger was all the way over by the Disco Sh!t.  Just as I started, “YOU LITTLE BAS…” this (really hot) guy showed up and I froze mid-scream.

MILF Hunter 01 

He raised a brow, “Bastard?  Is that his given name?”  I looked away from it over to the hottie and became acutely aware that I probably looked like some new Mommy Dearest hybrid carrying only the very worst mothering skills of Joan Crawford and Courtney Love.  Even I was horrified by the scene.

“Someone left him here,” I explained.  I stood there, hoping to somehow redeem myself when I blurted out, “TARD!  That’s his name.”

“Tard?” he asked, visually repulsed.

“Yes.  It’s bad for his self-esteem to call him ‘Bastard’ even though I haven’t a clue who his father is and besides that, it’s abbreviated and versatile.”  Satisfied at having named my new charge and feeling slightly more in control of a situation that was completely, utterly, and obviously out of my control, I went on the offense.  “Why are you hunting for a MILF here anyways?  Can’t you see that this place is clearly NOT childproof?”

He shrugged, “I find that a lot of MILFs enjoy fabulous modern furniture and other high-quality home interior products.”  Without another word, he poofed and offered me a teleport to the Zooby’s Babies store in Zoobyville.  I scooped up Tard and accepted the teleport.  “Just get what you need for him here,” the MILF Hunter said and waited while I selected from among the fine selection of baby accessories.  As I shopped, I thought to myself that this guy was living proof that God had heard my silent hangover promises earlier.  I looked at Tard and realized I had unwittingly become a Pixel MILF.  While I finished shopping, I got on the horn with my girls over at T Junction to put them to work making a shirt that would put the rest of the world on notice about my new status.  In no time, they served up a little piece of T Junction heaven that showed the rest of the world I was, in fact, a bona fide Pixel MILF.  Having selected all the equipment I needed to properly care for Tard, I teleported home.  Of course I didn’t leave the MILF Hunter behind!  He joined us and sat patiently while I gave Tard a much-needed bath, appreciating my newfound status as a mother.

Pixel MILF   MILF Hunter Giving Baby A Bath 01 

After I got the little bugger squeaky clean, the MILF Hunter helped me get him to fall asleep.

Pixel MILF   MILF Hunter Putting Baby To Bed 02

Of course, he didn’t want to sleep once I put him in his crib.

Pixel MILF   MILF Hunter Putting Baby To Bed 01 

As the MILF Hunter looked on, I smiled and kissed my little Tard goodnight and recited the words to “Wynken, Blynken, and Nod” while waiting patiently for him to drift off.  At last, he was sound asleep.

Sleeping Baby 01

And then the MILF Hunter moved in for the kill. :)

Pixel MILF   MILF Hunter 01 

Stay-tuned for the real story on how I became a Pixel MILF.

Pre Pixel MILF Party Girl

Pixel MILF - Close-Up 02

ABOVE:

***Chaisuki*** BRIANNA lucent-pink 03 caramel dark brows
***Chaisuki*** Eyebrows (Modifiable)
SLink Tiger Heels Plum
>TRUTH< Marguerite - swedish
Butterfly Wings & Glow Attachments for Rezzable By Kaeli Candour
HAYSURIZA-Glasses-Retro Cats NO.3
[MONKEE] I Love Hearts (Silver)
(Shiny Things) RECYCLED jewelry - black
*S.D.* Cigarette sculpty v3
[ATOMIC] Sheer Comfort_Worn - Purple
[ATOMIC] Tattoo_Lucky Basterd (color) - Fresh (shirt)
WWI COOCHIE CUTTERS RIPPED Dark

 

***Chaisuki*** BRIANNA lucent-pink 03 caramel dark brows
***Chaisuki*** Eyebrows (Modifiable)
SLink Tiger Heels Plum
>TRUTH< Marguerite - swedish
T Junction - Pixel MILF
Burroughs Jewelry - Premium Romance Earrings
Burroughs Jewelry - Premium Romance Necklace
*X*plosion BobbesJeans normal (blue)
[Gos] Custom Eyeware v3.3 – INTUITION

On Yahman Charman:

Uw.St Grain Hair black
Cybernetiks - !Skin Milos [The Dude] B5
SOREAL City Steps Sneakers
-WMD- "ronin" Harajuku Jeans Low Rise Grey Ed. - VH-
T Junction - MILF Hunter

ZOOBY ULTIMATE BABY AMARI

Zooby Breezy Blue Bathtub
Zooby Breezy Blue Bath Table
Zooby Breezy Blue Bath Duck
Zooby Breezy Blue Bath Stool

 

Zooby Neutral Changing Table v2
Zooby Neutral Crib v2
Zooby Neutral Chair
Zooby Neutral Bird Sculpture
Zooby Neutral Rabbit
Zooby Neutral Clock
Zooby Neutral Side Table
Zooby Neutral Rug

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